I have been thinking of this COVID-19, this Corona virus for some time. My huge mixed feelings of anxiety, hope and even anger have been like waves on a rocky beach. Crashing here, and then quietly slipping away over there. Harsh and beautiful at the same time. I am anxious because this thing has already changed our lives and I can’t hug my friends or family. In fact, this thing has killed people and please God, don’t kill anyone else. I don’t mind so much for myself, I am at peace if it is my time to go. Yet, I am especially concerned for my elderly parents. My mom is staying safe at home but my Dad, hero that he is, is still passing out free meals at the church and doing the million things for the home that he has always done. God Bless him, but I worry sometimes. And, I feel grief. I cry for those people who died alone in the hospital because their family couldn’t come visit them. I cry for the families who can’t mourn and be comforted. Please know that I am comforting you, I am hugging you, I am praying for you and your loved ones.
My anger comes from how this horrible virus could have happened at all. Do people really know for sure that it came from bats, held prisoner in a so-called “exotic meat market” in Wuhan? I have a lot of questions. For one thing, if this is true, can we all – as a whole WORLD decide once and for all, that we – the people of the WORLD – will no longer eat this shit? I mean, haven’t we all suffered enough? Are we finally ready to create a world-wide agreement not to harvest, in any way, these “exotic” animals? I understand there are cultural differences of what is edible, but haven’t enough people died to make a world-wide agreement? Our lives depend on it! While we are at it, let’s finally really ban things like elephant tusks, rhino horns, monkey feet and tiger claws. It is surprisingly simple – just no one buy them anymore. No more “exotic markets.” None. Please!
If we are not ready to make this a hard and fast agreement after all of THIS, then what the hell will it take? I have waves of anger about how this thing got started but also how the leaders of the world (and not just in the USA) kept this info from us for so long. They lead us down into the valley of death, just to save their own reputations. Can we as a world decide we aren’t going to take this anymore? We want the truth and whole truth from now on. That is not too much to ask. So, there’s my anger. Do you have it too? Let’s figure out what to do about it. What can we do during this strange time? How can we help ourselves and each other?
I found several things that have helped me. I have reconnected to my spiritual family, at One Spirit Interfaith Seminary. They are putting on virtual “Gatherings” that are unbelievably sweet and loving. The various speakers, my former teachers, are able to bring out my pent-up tears, and then they wipe them away with their compassionate love. I also became even more dedicated to my meditation practice. I “saw” and more importantly felt the wisdom of my Ancestors. In fact, through them, I came to enjoy so much creativity and “wisdom impulses” on how to deal with this time. I am also listening to uplifting music as if my life depends on it. Because it does. My favorite band, Max Creek, were an inspiration to me because they broadcast a concert called Back to the Future. The music was awesome and it was so much fun to watch comments in the chat box from my friends. Also, I watched a documentary on Fred Rogers. He was a master of the “big feelings.” It may sound silly, but this helped me. This taught me that inspiration may come from unexpected places.
Maybe we can look to the heavens for some advice. Right now, there’s a New Moon. It is completely dark. The mud season is upon us, but the Spring Flowers are growing up out of that same mud. Normally a New Moon in Taurus would mean we are open to new beginnings (especially related to Earthly things.) This time tho, Uranus is directly involved, too. As you may knowl, Uranus is the planet of New Age things, unexpected things, and sudden changes. There certainly is a lot of that going around.
And not all the unexpected things are bad. Their are some positive changes. Most people are quarantined with the people who are closest to them. We are having to deal with our loved ones in a way that we never had to before. This is bringing out the very real, humanity of the situation. No matter our differences, we LOVE these people. We are learning things about each other we never expected. One funny example: my friend and her husband moved in with her parents. She always knew these little old folks loved to play a friendly game of cards. Now that she’s living there, she is finding out that her sweet elderly parents are quite the card sharks. She has lost a lot of money!
Another weird side effect of the stay home/stay safe movement is that there is no more FOMO or fear of missing out. I used to be jealous when friends would do amazing things and post pics everywhere to prove it, too. Conversations went like this, “Hey Lizzie, what did you do last weekend?” Lizzie would shrug and say, “Oh, I went to a festival and got my pic taken with the bass player.” Damn, my favorite musician, that was a tough one! And, there was the time my friend from high school went to a Broadway show in NYC and then Bruce Springsteen showed up and yadda yadda yadda, she didn’t get much sleep that night. By the way, if I had to see one more pic of happy couples swimming with dolphins, I was going to throw up. I am kind of kidding, but you know what I mean.
But now all of that’s all gone, quite unexpectedly, too (Uranus.) A new, very down to earth reality has set in. (Taurus) We are all doing nothing, or not much. We are all in this together, on our respective couches. I am on my couch just like you are on yours. Good. I feel united with you because we are literally doing the same things. That makes me feel better in a weird way. No more FOMO.
It should be mentioned that not everyone is on their couch, however and this is also good. I have a friend who is an ER doctor in NYC. Now, he is a hero, as well as all the doctors, nurses, and staff taking care of people. That’s obvious. But right now otherwise ordinary people are helping people in ways that no one could have dreamed possible three months ago. A friend of mine brought my housemate and I three huge bags of groceries, without being asked. Just because. Even little kids are painting rainbow pictures and big hearts to post on their doors, to inspire others. In New York City everyone is cheering for the health care workers at seven o’clock every night. Even those of us who are staying home are heroes in a way. We are keeping ourselves and others safe from the spread of this unexpected world-wide pandemic. Who would have dreamed that being a couch potato could save the world? Oh, I did. I was way ahead of my time! (Haha)
Seriously, everyone who is helping in any way deserves a medal, or better yet, to have their mortgage or rent paid for awhile. This virus certainly has affected the whole Earth, in ways we never could have expected. Some cities are seeing clear skies for the first time in years. The Earth itself seems to be taking a rare, unexpected deep breath, even as many people are tragically sick and unable to breathe. Some rays of hope are on the horizon, too. The sudden development of treatments and vaccines, which normally take years, has been fast-tracked. I really do hope these things come to fruition, even as the Earth bears fruit and flower during this strange and “Silent Spring.”
My heart feels for those who are suffering – both economically, emotionally and physically. For everyone on the front lines, I wish for you a beautiful New Beginning. Maybe something unexpected will happen, something that we can’t even imagine right now. Let’s try to imagine it, together. From our couch.
By the way, I’m doing fine. I feel blessed to be able to work from home. I’m writing a lot and enjoying a very creative period. But sometimes I stop and try to understand the magnitude of this world event. If a science fiction writer wrote this scenario a year ago, no one would have believed it could happen. Meanwhile, this is real. Super real.
From the bottom of my heart, I cry for everyone who feels alone, sick, scared or who is suffering in any way. I wish for you (and me) a new sense of Hope. More than anything, I wish for some sudden cure or treatment or vaccine. Until then, I send big virtual hugs to all of you, until we can make those hugs real. Have a good New Moon in Taurus, but don’t let it hit you in Uranus.